Andrea’s Light:
How One Family’s Love Built a Life of Independence
Andrea Patane is a 35-year-old native Californian with high functioning autism, a form of autism spectrum disorder marked by milder symptoms and the absence of intellectual disabilities. She lives with her parents, Marge, 66, and Leo, 66, who have supported her throughout every stage of life and enabled her to grow into an independent woman with an identity beyond her diagnosis. Andrea’s progress is thanks to her parent’s unwavering support as they struggled to find her proper care, had difficulty grappling with the complexity of her condition and suffered from the lack of support by the government and their peers. Through their strong family bond combined with previous experiences with relatives who have special needs, Leo and Marge were able to provide Andrea with the tools she needed to succeed.
“You have two choices. You do nothing or you help her. And we felt the only choice was to help her,” Marge said.
Andrea runs outside her neighborhood in San Francisco on Sunday, June 1 to train for her company’s annual Beer Mile. She runs between a quarter mile and a mile every day and listens to a variety of music from classical, pop, reggae and jazz.
Andrea fills up her watering can before she gardens on Sunday, June 1. She was diagnosed with autism at the age of four. Although she showed autistic tendencies when interacting with peers, her empathy and strong eye contact made it difficult for Marge and Leo to pinpoint what was wrong. “She's very empathetic and kind,” Marge said. “A lot of the things she is, supposedly people on the spectrum are not. That's why we would always question it. It was like solving a puzzle.”
Marge finishes doing Andrea’s hair before she goes to work on Tuesday, June 3. When Andrea was younger, her needs were more demanding and overwhelming. She was isolated and bullied by her peers, while Marge faced harsh judgment from parents and teachers because of her daughter’s differences. Marge recalled an incident where a parent physically walked with her back to Andrea, acting as if autism were contagious. Later, one of Andrea’s elementary teachers told Marge that Andrea’s issue was that she was “spoiled.” “You have to bite your tongue a lot because you don't want to rock the boat,” Marge said. You have to listen to all this baloney just to get her a good teacher.”
Andrea poses with Jodi Benson, the voice of Ariel from “The Little Mermaid,” during a 2011 visit to Disneyland Park. Andrea and her family have been to the park more than 20 times. Marge said Disneyland was an outlet for Andrea and enabled her to get out of her shell because she grew up loving the characters. “I love Disney because I’m extremely infatuated with the voiceovers from the characters,” Andrea said. Andrea's dream is to become a voice actor. She loves children, and outside of work she records readings for a fourth grade class in Pittsburg, California, through the agency Toolworks. She previously read stories for Family House, a San Francisco nonprofit that houses families whose children are being treated at UCSF Benioff Children's Hospital. Andrea attended the City College of San Francisco from 2008 to 2012, where she earned certificates in “Child Development: School-Age Care” and “Special Education: K-12 Focus.” Andrea had an Individual Education Plan, or IEP, from preschool through highschool. This outlined specific instructions and goals for her education. She was in “full inclusion,” meaning she was in the general classroom with other students. After she graduated high school, she switched to a Person-Centered Individual Program Plan, or IPP.
Marge embraces Andrea on Monday, June 2 before she goes to work. Marge has a 63-year-old brother, Joe, who has an intellectual disability. She said growing up with Joe taught her compassion and how to defend her family. “I think as a little girl I had to have compassion,” Marge said. “I saw a difference. And you love that person. You have a choice. We choose. I was always taught to do the right thing.” While her parents were supportive of Andrea, her disability was difficult to face because of their past experience with Joe. “My father would tell me, ‘Why don’t you read to her? Why don’t you talk to her?’ And I thought, ‘I am talking to her,’” Marge said. “It made me feel like I was a terrible parent.”
Andrea waits for the metro on Tuesday, June 3. She has worked at Terreno Realty Corporation as an office clerk for almost four years. She was hired through WorkLink California, an employment service that helps place people with disabilities in jobs and provides onsite and off-site support. Sara Murphy, director and senior training associate of WorkLink, helped Andrea get her position and said she has seen her flourish. “You can see the impact on Andrea's life,” Sara said. “We’re seeing amazing growth because of employment. She's now at a point where she's ready and she's willing to take risks that she would have never, never done two years ago.” That includes taking the bus and jogging regularly.
Andrea starts the dishwasher and organizes snacks at Terreno on Tuesday, June 3. Her job includes managing inventory for office and kitchen supplies, running the dishwasher and handling mail. She works Monday through Thursday from 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. “Inventory is my favorite because it gives me the zen power to figure out whenever the office is good or needs more supplies,” Andrea said. “It helps me concentrate on which items we need the most.” Marge said people should give individuals with disabilities a chance in the workplace. “Usually they will be the best workers,” she said. “They'll show up on time. They'll be very attentive to what they're doing. They take pride in little things that they can do. They're just like anybody else. They just think and act differently. And that's okay.”
Marge combs Andrea’s hair before work on Monday, June 2. Marge said she and Leo are proud of Andrea’s independence. They can now leave her home alone for errands, and she’s able to go to the store by herself. Their next goal is to take an overnight trip without her.
Marge serves Leo and Andrea lasagna on Tuesday, June 3. They have family dinners every night and watch “The Simpsons” or “Frasier.” Marge said family feels like home, and feels like she can do anything when they are by her side. “We love her very much,” Marge said. “She loves us very much. We love each other very much, Leo and I. We all get along very well.” “She just makes everything better,” Marge said. “She lights up a room. People depend on her. She works harder than anybody.”
Andrea washes her face before bed on Tuesday, June 3. She said Andrea’s growth is a success story in itself. “She was always a success. There are good parts of it, there are bad parts, but look at what she can do.” Marge said that Andrea taught her that everybody has something about them that isn’t perfect. “Nothing is perfect,” she said. “And you learn very quickly when you have children that life isn't that way. But when you have a child with special needs, you really learn that. And I feel that it's just a success story. She gets people to love her. She lights up a room. She makes everything better. She turns it into gold.”